Orange

im at home , in my room

listenin to this adele track

and realizing what's wrong with me.

I'm a loser.

that's how i feel, that's how i look, that's how i dress.

I feel like i'm at the end of my road and there's a cliff i need to jump off.

I guess I'll admit I've felt suicidal for that past 6 months.

Like there's no purpose to my life.

I've felt like i don't matter for the longest, it's just saying it that makes it hurt more.

This space i occupy, isn't me.

These conversations i have with people i speak to, doesn't interest me.

I've wanted to run away and I still do.

To finally be able to breath....wow. it would be great.

This is pottery class

and my lifes on the table

and everyone's molding me

trying to shape their ideas on it

before it stops spinning

but isn't it mine?

that's why im a loser.

I don't stand up for myself enough.

or i guess love myself enough.

i guess that comes with a shattered dream.

But i'll try again.

Today i'm Orange.